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Are 34 'murican brain injuries, announced almost 3 weeks after the fact, going to be retroactively used as casus belli to bomb Iran when Trump's "deal of the century" shatters on the sharp rocks of reality after swan-diving off the collective ego of Trump, Bibi, & wanna-Bibi? Does a coronavirus-infected bat shit in the woods? i'm not one to say "i told you so" but i definitely called this whole pandemic thing. The wheels are coming off their propaganda juggernaut, so it's time for Operation Order Out of Chaos.

January 21: Pot to kettle: stop with your blackness; private health data goes public; Schiff tears a hole in the fabric of reality

Most unpopular popular vote winner in history slimes most popular 2020 senator as 'unlikeable,' 'divisive'

**Big Tech cashes in as your healthcare records go digital & your privacy goes bye-bye

Schiff & Cipollone clash over impeachment, what constitutes reality as Senate trial kicks off

January 22: Coronavirus coming to town; Tulsi sues Clinton; Trump defends (other) Clinton; FBI blocked iCloud encryption; #FreeGritty

Coronavirus confirmed in US as airports globally step up screenings

Tulsi sues Clinton for $50mn & demands jury trial over 'Russian asset' smear

Trump says Clinton shouldn't have been impeached as Starr joins his legal team

**FBI spiked Apple's plans to encrypt iCloud because it couldn't stand to part with easy access to your data

Internet rallies to defend Philly mascot 'Gritty' accused of punching season ticket holder's 13-year-old

January 23: Big Brother as third wheel; Iran slams US thuggery; no handshake for Pence; anchor babies aweigh!

Tinder debuts 'panic button' to let Big Brother tag along to your dates, because predators

Tehran condemns US threat against Soleimani's successor as 'governmental terrorism'

White House emphatically denies Prince Charles refused to shake Pence's hand

Trump admin cracks down on 'birth tourism,' setting sights on anchor baby industry

January 24: Coronavirus spreading; belated brain injuries; Sanders-fueled Dem meltdown continues; Germany hates the planet

Second US coronavirus case confirmed in Chicago

Pentagon admits 34 US troops received brain injuries in "no casualties" Iranian revenge strike

Thousands injured, 22 dead after 6.8 earthquake hits near Sivrice, Turkey

Sanders snags coveted Joe Rogan endorsement immediately declared 'problematic'

**Germany memory-holes 'climate hysteria,' creating legions of climate change "deniers" with a single click

January 25: Oxford nixes theme parties; Wolf of Wall Street dons sheep's clothing; Bibi & Gantz Go to Washington (but leave the Palestinians at home)

Oxford Student Union cracks down on themed parties lest the gender-ambiguous resent picking "vicar" or "tart"

Real-life Wolf of Wall Street 'shocked, shocked' to find criminality in firm that funded film with stolen Malaysian money

Netanyahu & Gantz head to DC to unveil 'deal of the century' with Trump - but no Palestinians

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Establishment gatekeepers have warned their charges: publish anything that harms a hair on ol' Sniffy McBloodyEye's head, and you'll be smeared as a Russian Collaborator, based on a hack that may never have happened, diagnosed by a company with connections to both the NSA and Russiagate mainstay Crowdstrike. Did we mention that this company, Area 1, is running cybersecurity for "about half of the major 2020 presidential candidates" and has also claimed - again, sans proof - it has blocked "attempts by foreign governments to break into campaigns' networks"? Why, between this con-job and the polls that show Sanders mopping the floor with both the Massachusetts senator who called him a liar on national TV and the senile old child-pawer who refuses to give up his dreams of being president despite being all but guaranteed a three-time-loser, it's almost like the Democratic establishment has already decided it will throw the 2020 election in order to pin its "loss" on Those Dastardly Russians. Instead of merely being pilloried on PropOrNot, journalists perceived as being "soft on Russia" - i.e. anti-war - will be doxxed on Mirotvorets and stalked (and worse) offline as the worst excesses of Ukraine's US-backed fascist regime come home to roost. 

January 13: Can we interest you in Fear; encryption causes terrorism; even France's lawyers have more of a clue than US; 23andMe pimps your genes

Democratic establishment soils its drawers as Sanders takes lead in polls - voters brace for fake "controversies"

Barr declares Pensacola shooting 'act of terrorism,' dismisses 21 Saudis, but still wants Apple's encryption

Lawyers back France's #GreveGenerale, ditching robes en masse to protest Macron pension cuts

**23andMe cashes in on customers' genetic data, but don't expect a cut - or your privacy back

January 14: Dueling makes a comeback; Microsoft in the head; establishment voices demand preemptive censorship; things falling out of the sky

Kansas man demands trial by combat in custody battle

Microsoft CEO brings down India's wrath with ham-handed CAA virtue-signaling

**Establishment goons use Burisma 'hack' report to preemptively quash all criticism of Biden links, corruption

Rockets land near coalition Camp Taji weeks after foreign soldiers told to leave Iraq

Dozens injured as Boeing 777 with mechanical problems dumps jet fuel on elementary schools outside LAX

January 15: Fake officer for a fake alliance; an encrypted phone walks into a Barr; dude where's my mortar; Facebook adds insult to injury

Oops: senior Swedish officer found faking after decades in sensitive military intel roles & NATO

**Apple trips over its privacy record in rush to oppose Barr's attack on encryption

3 arrested after Pearl Harbor guard smells pot, finds mortar

Facebook removes video recalling western media's past approval of Soleimani - & demonetizes page that posted it


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World War III looms on the horizon - the crisis seemingly averted this week may find a new life as the US wrings its hands over Iran admitting to accidentally shooting down a Ukrainian 737-800 with 176 people on board. It's not like the US hasn't shot down plenty of passenger planes in its time, including an Iranian flight with 290 people on board in 1988 for which it has never apologized. And Iran would be wise to investigate who might have been fiddling with their missile defense systems to give rise to this "human error." But the US has already pulled its MEK strings to unleash yet another tide of protesters on the Iranian streets & redirect them at regime change (Iranians have plenty of valid reasons to protest, but "bring back the Shah" isn't one of them), & is now sitting back with a Lockheed Martin-sponsored vat of popcorn. Americans cheering the protesters on would be wise to read Brookings' "Which Path to Persia" (or this) before making fools of themselves. 

January 6: Swinestein breeds hypocrisy; rockets' red scare; moar troops plz; CNBC says all Asians look alike

**Weinstein trial (& new LA charges) reveal Hollywood hypocrisy

US embassy in Jerusalem warns cloudy with a chance of rockets after Soleimani killing

Netanyahu rushes to distance Israel from Soleimani killing he'd been begging for for years

Pentagon sends reinforcements to Kenya base after al-Shabaab attack kills 3

Biased much? CNBC swaps Yang & Gabbard's faces with random Asian & departed candidate

January 7: AOC gets thought-policed; Canadians flee; camel slaughter; ex-Green Party pol turned Monsanto lobbyist; who's afraid of Goop?

AOC excoriated by pro-war trolls over wrongthink of 'liking' post by anti-war journalist

Canadian troops in Iraq retreat to Kuwait after Iraq orders all foreign troops out

Australian camel cull plans to kill 10,000 in the wake of over 1 billion animals lost in bushfires

**Bright young Green politician joins Bayer-Monsanto to tout environmental virtues of glyphosate

**Self-styled defenders of Science demand Goop be taken off Netflix - soon to be followed by all non-pharmaceutical health info

January 8: Cannibal eats Grindr date; crisis averted says Sadr; Hillary fans forget her Iran warmongering; ABC finally airs Epstein ep

Michigan cannibal who killed & ate part of Grindr date pleads insanity

'Crisis over,' Iraqi cleric Moqtada al-Sadr proclaims after Iranian missiles fail to produce US retaliation

Hillary voters insist she wouldn't have started war in Iran - though her history speaks differently

ABC quietly releases long-awaited Epstein special under cover of Iran war panic

January 9: More Epstein jail footage goes missing; Netflix ordered to pull 'gay Jesus' special; Iran calls out 'psychological warfare'; Facebook slammed for not sucking hard enough

Footage from first Epstein 'suicide attempt' was 'accidentally' deleted, prosecutors say

Brazilian judge orders Netflix to yank 'gay Jesus' comedy special

Iran slams 'psychological warfare' of evidence-free allegations it shot down UIA PS752

**Facebook's rare respect of users' intelligence triggers hail of criticism from pols who use 'media literacy' as cover for thought-policing

January 10: Crash site footage counters bulldozer claims; NATO speculates while Ukraine says stop; Russians blamed for Biden's failure; Microsoft has its ear on you

Footage of UIA PS752 crash site contradicts Bellingcat "bulldozer" claims

NATO's Stoltenberg says 'no reason not to believe' evidence-free claims Iran shot down Ukrainian Boeing

Ukraine calls for end to irresponsible speculation about crashed Boeing's fate, rules out terrorism

**Biden's primary flop blamed on "Russian disinformation" as Trump appears set for second term

Microsoft in damage-control mode after revelations unvetted Chinese contractors listen to Skype calls over open internet

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2020 is shaping up to be a dumpster fire of epic proportions - in just 4 days, we have entered World War III at the hands of either criminal blundering or Oscar-level acting. Netanyahu, of course, needs a war to keep him out of jail, while Trump has been told a war will get the Democrats off his back - as if they aren't already doing a good enough job sabotaging their own impeachment trial and Trump needs help putting them in their place. No one wants a war, of course - Soleimani's murder came gift-wrapped in lies, and no less than Pence the Dense is now pinning everything up to and including 9/11 (!) on the dead bogeyman - but even if Iran does not take the bait and strike back, Israel will happily play Iran's role in the false flag drama to come.

December 23: Bushfire catfight; Russophobia is no laughing matter; Giuliani un-Jews Soros 

Morrison slaps down Greta Thunberg's criticism of his (mis)handling of Australian bushfire crisis

Twitter censors journalist for parroting Russia-hater's impeachment testimony...that remained uncensored

Dodging predictable antisemitism label, Giuliani insists he's more Jewish than George Soros

December 27: Smoke pot, get away with murder; predictable rockets; don't bribe the Taliban

License to kill Jews? Chief rabbi slams France for exonerating pot-smoking killer

Rocket attack on coalition base kills 1 US contractor, injures several in Kirkuk

Lawsuit charges US contractors bribed Taliban to save on security; Taliban used $ to fund terror attacks on less-generous competitors

December 30: Biden's foot-in-mouth flareup; good guy with gun slays narrative; Little Women big problems

Biden wants all fossil fuel execs in jail if they don't obey his climate change plans...including his son?

Trained marksman (& newly-minted law) saved Texas church by downing convicted felon shooter with one to the head

**Woke critics savaging Little Women for its 'white privilege' have rendered their profession irrelevant by substituting inclusivity for quality

December 31: Green Zone reinforced; Kim wants attitude adjustment; Pentagon asking for Black Mirror drone-swarm nightmare

Pentagon sends reinforcements to Iraq after Green Zone siege

North Korea reconsiders self-imposed ban on nuke tests, blaming US gangsterism & drills with the South

**Pentagon wants AI-enabled drone swarms for 'search & rescue' - how long 'til they turn to search & destroy?

January 1: The old Palestinian laborer trick again; Kurz & Greens triumphant; US intel can't predict the nose in front of its face

Israeli settler youths arrested for attacking police disguised as Palestinian laborers

Sebastian Kurz set to return to power as deal with Austria's Greens announced

**US intel agencies predicted the world of 2020 in 2004, then scurried to fulfill their own prophecies. How'd they do?

January 2: Reheated Iraq War leftovers; gone & long since forgotten; so i herd u liek war criminalz; 'civic sparring' joins euphemism pantheon

Esper warns Iran that even a rumor of 'provocations' to come will trigger preemptive strike

'Only Latino candidate' Castro exits still-crowded 2020 Democratic field. "Who?"

Queen's University, Belfast names Hillary Clinton chancellor...alas, she's not moving there

**NBC slammed for 'civic sparring' euphemism, but how else to describe a desperate effort to prop up 'Diversity is our strength' narrative?

January 3: Cremated creatures mourned; don't panic, but we're all gonna die; dude where's my Koran; revenge porn'd's revenge; killer robots just want to help

Close to half a billion animals dead in Australia's bushfires set to get even worse as record number evacuated

The only thing to fear is...everything!!! de Blasio warns New Yorkers all bets are off as city braces for Iranian revenge for Soleimani killing

French prosecutors say no evidence Villejuif stabber who yelled 'Allahu akhbar' was radicalized...after finding his Koran & religious items near scene

GirlsDoPorn operators must pay $12.8 million to women conned into appearing in online porn vids, face federal sex trafficking charges

**Pentagon will unveil killer robots as a way to save American lives during war. Don't fall for it

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It's becoming increasingly difficult to tell where politics ends & religion begins - & where satire ends & social movement begins. But when your cult is based on a doctrine rejected from politics for not meeting even the lowest factual standards, or your social movement is born out of a satire in which you didn't realize you were the joke, it might be time to find something else to do with your life. But hey, this is 'murica, land of opportunity: just don't try to take any, it's all been reserved for people with more money than you.

December 16: Pop goes the hateblimp; the next big thing in Fear

Whoopi Goldberg tells Meghan McCain to shut up, embodying the will of all Americans

Man arrested after 4-hour shootout-standoff with Columbus cops

**"Russian-influenced racist trolls" taking over Instagram as DFRL worries neither epithet terrifies alone

December 17: Don't say the g-word; actors do politics; mad Maxine defends doctrine; Mormons' apocalypse stash exposed

Trump admin won't budge on Armenian genocide terminology despite unified Congress

**Don't encourage celebrities by indulging their political virtue-signaling - unless you want President Cusack

**Greta Thunberg biopic shows the cameras have been rolling from day one of her climate strike

Maxine Waters admits the facts aren't on her side, but clings to Russiagate doctrine anyway

Mormon Church hoarding $100bn against Second Coming, says IRS whistleblower

December 18: Demons 4 Kidz; Manafort spared double jeopardy; Hariri bounces; Pelosi panders with purple-prosed Pledge

Exorcists on the warpath about 'demon summoning for kids' book

NY judge dismisses state charges against Manafort, citing double jeopardy

Hariri backs out of Lebanese PM election as protests threaten to derail talks

Pelosi opens impeachment debate with pandering pantomime of patriotism

3 stabbed, 1 killed at at Beaverton Wells Fargo

December 19: Rowling treads on trans toes; Alexa wants a seat at the Christmas table; Pelosi stalls as impeachment not so peachy

JK Rowling eviscerated by fans after sticking up for woman fired over biological view of sex

**Amazon Alexa can 'change the subject' if talk gets too hot over Christmas dinner - pass the potatoes, CIA

Pelosi's foot-dragging handing impeachment to Senate enrages Republicans eager to spike the case

December 20: Trump typos titillate; taking offense keeps 'muricans feeling virtuous; Trump & Pelosi play nice over SOTU

Trump fumes over 'Christianity Today' op-ed (or 'ET'), triggering 'smocking-hot' social media meltdown

**PC thought police would rather feed the trolls than admit their own racism

Trump & Pelosi make nice over SOTU as supporters cheer for inevitable backstab

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