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...in which George Orwell, Philip K. Dick, & Aldous Huxley all rise from the dead to shout - in unison, in protest - "It wasn't an instruction manual!" - as their books are moved to the nonfiction section.
Just kidding! there are no "bookstores" anymore, thanks to Wealthy Mr. Worm.
Without further ado, my coverage of last week... (The animation at right is produced by GE - to what purpose?)
Nov 26: Prosecutorial (& porcine) incompetence - and we want to let these guys 'predictively police'?
Alabama cops blame innocent man they killed on Thanksgiving for his murder
Prosecutors want "Schrodinger's indictment" to stay sealed, especially because it doesn't exist
"Precrime" algorithm coming soon to UK streets just wants to help
Trump claims resemblance to Elvis; Twitter melts down
Nov 27: Google lies to its users, religion flexes its muscles, Bolton dishes it out but can't take it
EU consumer groups condemn Google for deceptive tracking
Dutch church holds marathon month-long service to prevent refugee deportation
Religious persecution? There's an app for that!
Bolton defends hypocritical squeamishness over Khashoggi torture tape
Nov 28: True romance with an F-16, Facebook hates black people, just shoot me already
National Guard commander forced to resign after borrowing company F-16 to visit lover
Michigan college looks to hockey pucks for protection from active shooters
Nov 29: Privileged parasites infesting America, oh & there's an invasive tick species on the loose; prisoners & pilots both love cock
Invasive ticks carrying hemorrhagic fevers take US by storm
USAF fires 69th commander for penis doodles
Iowa prisoners sue to keep access to porn
Nov 30: Four year data breach catches Marriott with pants down, Starbucks says pull them back up; Googlers hate the Right; brain implants found to treat depression
Marriott exposed 500 million customers' passport numbers, other data for 4 years - oops
Porn sites stick it to Starbucks after official cockblock
Google mulled delisting conservative media to fight 'fake news'
Convenient new study finds deliciously hackable brain implant treats depression
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Reality is an ugly place, but whenever we try to take a vacation, they close the borders. Last week's news, today, with time off for good behavior:
Nov 19: "Screw you!" "Who?" "EVERYBODY."
Democrats revolt against inevitable Pelosi
Dueling boycotts: Airbnb vs West Bank settlements
Creepy Porn Lawyer hit with restraining order
US shops plans to tar Venezuela as 'terror sponsor'
Nov 20: Lettuce Prey; you(r genitalia) are not safe here
CDC continues to push lettuce-E.coli link as favor to Big Beef
Chinese cops bust condom recycling & counterfeiting op
McDonalds manager to black kids: drop dead
What's wrong with a little clitoridectomy, says judge
Nov 21: Unaccountable corporations leak your data, evict you, then lie about it
Amazon starts shopping season right with creepy breach email
WalMart evicts Camp Fire victims, because compassion hurts profits
Facebook exec issues tone-deaf Soros mea culpa to shield Zuckerborg
Trump takes credit for gas price drop that wasn't
Nov 24: Spacebugs & super-secret diplomacy
Antibiotic-resistant bacteria, on MY space station?
Declassified docs reveal attempted Korean peace talks
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Last week's highlights from the ongoing atrocity exhibition that is our reality...fire, fear, & failure, what more could you possibly want, besides a way off this planet
Nov 12: Debating Frankfurt School fallout
Illinois prison system mandates transgender training
Christian persecution complex may be real
Nov 13: CIA claims morals, igniting California with "pants on fire" effect, but there's no accounting for taste
CIA torture docs reveal truth serum, ethical delusions
Woolsey fire sparks fears of airborne toxins
EU finds something it can't copyright
Nov 14: Murders? What murders? Americans flee north to avoid getting stuck with terror tab
Report finds native female deaths memory-holed
Record number of Americans seek asylum in Canada
War on Terror prolonged indefinitely to avoid paying $6 trillion tab
Nov 15: How not to die, in NY and CA; Big Brother thinks you look awfully nice today
College teaches course in surviving mass shootings
Missing, dead continue to climb as Camp Fire rages on
Facial recognition is here, here's how they'll make you love it
Nov 16: Ivy League predation; utility companies run by sociopaths
Dartmouth sued for enabling predatory profs for 15 years
Paradise lost- more missing, dead in Camp Fire
Water utilities cover up widespread atrazine contamination
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This week's headlines, "satire is obsolete" edition.
Nov 5: Willie Horton's revenge, bots laugh last, Farrakhan does Tehran, shittiest flight ever
TV & Facebook drop Willie Horton redux ad
Hillarybots more effective than Trumpbots, study finds
Farrakhan presses American buttons in Iran
And you thought YOUR flight was shitty...
Gymnastics org declared professionally incompetent
Nov 6: Voting is hard, pot calls kettle black, Gillum concedes (but not for long), blue wave flops, Girl Scouts: "no boys allowed"
Polling places freeze when faced with the unexpected: voters
CNN to Hannity: where's your integrity? (Not an Onion story)
Gillum concedes in Florida race [not for long, as it turns out...]
Blue wave fails to materialize
Girl Scouts to Boys: stop poaching our customers
Nov 7: Robot surgeon kills patient, Acosta meltdown, Trump auto-backpattery, space tumbleweeds
Robot surgery goes horribly wrong
Acosta learns actions have consequences
Trump takes (undeserved) credit for oil price drop
Trump takes (deserved) credit for Flake's flake
Trump blames Obama for Crimean referendum
Moon has company: astronomers photograph dust clouds
Nov 8: Iranians should eat Pompeo, Antifa apologist hides under bed, Trump says GTFO, wildfire spreads like...
Pompeo says he knows what's best for Iranians: starving
Vox.com creep defends Antifa vs. Carlson, deletes Twitter when called out
Trump tightens border controls: no asylum for you
California wildfire engulfs towns, forces evacuations
Nov 9: Panopticon coming soon, Bermuda triangle of votes, Amazon snitches, Saudis save face
DEA & ICE hiding surveillance cameras in streetlights
Bermuda triangle of votes strikes again: Florida recount on horizon
'Alexa, who's the killer?' Echo to testify in murder trial
Saudis end US refueling in Yemen to avoid embarrassing protests
Ashton Kutcher proves gun laws don't work
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as the War Party seizes the House of Representatives back from the War Party, a moment of silence to remember, We Have Always Been at war with EastAsia. Last week's headlines:
Oct 29: the "Trump defense" makes Twinkie look legit; classiest tent cities ever; MAGAbomber had 100+ on naughty list; move along, nothing to see here
Terror suspect's lawyer blames 'china shop bull' Trump, fake news
Trump to build 'nice tent cities' for asylum-seekers
'Hit list' with 100+ names found in MAGAbomber suspect's van
Classes continue after NC school shooting
Oct 30: Kanye West exits Blexit; Trump visits Pittsburgh against its will; bitcoin will kill us all - or will that volcano?
Kanye West out as Trump-whisperer
Trump visits Pittsburgh without its consent
Crypto-mining threatens environment
Volcano warnings mean as little as terror warnings
Oct 31: Hackers target your brain; Facebook's 'transparency' is a joke; Pentagon manual yanked; Soros gonna Soros
Brain implants: the next frontier in cybersecurity
Facebook's "political transparency" tool fails to catch 100% of fakes
Pentagon pulls bizarre racist Saudi Arabian training manual
Soros paying migrants? Bears shitting in woods? You tell me, says Trump
Nov 1: 'Axis of evil' redux; deflower a robot hooker; 'the Purge' hits Paris; out-Nikki-ing Haley
Bolton shares regime-change to-do list: 'Troika of terror'
Take a sex robot's virginity for just $10K
Life imitates art: Halloween 'Purge' riots outside Paris
Fox News presenter in line to replace Haley as UN ambassador
Nov 2: Migrants get litigious; FDA approves super-fentanyl; Oumuamua=extraterrestrial litter?; Twitter says 'kill all Jews'
Migrants go native, file lawsuits
FDA approves opiate 10x stronger than fentanyl over protests
Mysterious space object may have been alien 'lightsail'
Twitter: actually, we didn't mean for you to 'kill all Jews'
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