Between Time Magazine's introduction of the "guardian of the year" category - occupied in true fascist fashion by walking Napoleon complex Anthony Fauci, flanked by "frontline healthcare heroes" (you can never recycle 9/11 too much) and the Black Lives Matter protesters unhelpfully demanding that we "say their names" (because it keeps our mouths too busy to demand real change) - and Rapture-Ready Mike Pence's revelation that 'murica's Space Force goons will also be called "guardians" (to say nothing of the UK propaganda rag by the same name, or the many dystopian films that use the term to describe secret police) - it's clear we are headed for a very draconian crackdown indeed, presumably timed to coincide with Christmas/New Year. We will be told it is punishment for relaxing our guard against OMFGVIRUS over the holidays, for failing to keep up our sacrifices to the almighty pathogen and being distracted by such petty human concerns as wanting to spend time with our loved ones. One would have to be truly weak - nay, human! - to put one's own desire for human contact above the demands of the State (hint: snitch, snitch, and snitch some more). 

Surely the constant amygdala-flogging must be self-limiting at some point? Has anyone dissected a pod-person's brain to see what's left in there? Something has to give. 

December 7: Clogging the sky with an all-seeing eye; the Corbyn Effect; 'obey' is not a memorable quote

Elon Musk wins broadband contract to blanket sky with surveillance satellites

Labour faith minister resigns & begs forgiveness for innocuous gay marriage comment

**Fauci's 'Wear a mask' declared quote of the year by revisionist Yale bootlicker

December 8: Uncle Sam wants kill-crazy sociopaths; let us snoop or no vax for you; Flynn win; poison Apple

Afghan civilian casualties more than tripled under 'end the wars' Trump

US Army fires & suspends 14 over epidemic of homicide & abuse at Fort Hood

States balk as CDC demands reams of private info on Covid-19 vaccine recipients

Judge finally dismisses case against Mike Flynn after Trump pardon renders it pointless

Apple unveils $549 headphones, proving its fanboys will buy anything

December 9: Failing upwards; fat cats dine out on suffering; Wolf in sheep's clothing

Punchlines write themselves as Biden rumored to pick Buttigieg as China ambassador

Biden's Pentagon pick would require another congressional waiver - but muh diversity!

Billionaires' pandemic profits alone could pay for a $3,000 stimulus to every American

Pennsylvania governor tests positive for OMFGVIRUS despite dutiful worship at its altar

December 10: Ditch CIA's bitch; more failing upwards; shit your pants for health; Pandermonium ensues; medical fascism so hot rn

Venezuelan opposition figure urges Biden to drop Guaido charade

Biden appoints Susan Rice to domestic policy post despite no stateside experience

Sexual harassment & institutional coverup rampant in FBI, investigation finds

Chinese airline guidelines suggest flight attendants wear diapers to avoid germy toilets

'Frontline healthcare heroes' & BLM given Time's participation trophy

**Biden & Harris named 'person of the year' in predictable Orange Man Bad gesture

**Time celebrates medical fascism by naming Fauci 'guardian of the year'

December 11: Beast turns tail; Pentagon needs moar snoops; Cuomo hates your business; conscience-cleaning science

**Daily Beast quails after demanding jail for Trump supporters when their pals get doxxed

Pentagon wants still more help to snoop on & sway public sentiment on Twitter

Cuomo reimposes indoor dining ban despite admitting it's responsible for <2% of infections

Small children prefer toys to experiences, study says - just in time for no more vacations ever