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2020 is shaping up to be a dumpster fire of epic proportions - in just 4 days, we have entered World War III at the hands of either criminal blundering or Oscar-level acting. Netanyahu, of course, needs a war to keep him out of jail, while Trump has been told a war will get the Democrats off his back - as if they aren't already doing a good enough job sabotaging their own impeachment trial and Trump needs help putting them in their place. No one wants a war, of course - Soleimani's murder came gift-wrapped in lies, and no less than Pence the Dense is now pinning everything up to and including 9/11 (!) on the dead bogeyman - but even if Iran does not take the bait and strike back, Israel will happily play Iran's role in the false flag drama to come.

December 23: Bushfire catfight; Russophobia is no laughing matter; Giuliani un-Jews Soros 

Morrison slaps down Greta Thunberg's criticism of his (mis)handling of Australian bushfire crisis

Twitter censors journalist for parroting Russia-hater's impeachment testimony...that remained uncensored

Dodging predictable antisemitism label, Giuliani insists he's more Jewish than George Soros

December 27: Smoke pot, get away with murder; predictable rockets; don't bribe the Taliban

License to kill Jews? Chief rabbi slams France for exonerating pot-smoking killer

Rocket attack on coalition base kills 1 US contractor, injures several in Kirkuk

Lawsuit charges US contractors bribed Taliban to save on security; Taliban used $ to fund terror attacks on less-generous competitors

December 30: Biden's foot-in-mouth flareup; good guy with gun slays narrative; Little Women big problems

Biden wants all fossil fuel execs in jail if they don't obey his climate change plans...including his son?

Trained marksman (& newly-minted law) saved Texas church by downing convicted felon shooter with one to the head

**Woke critics savaging Little Women for its 'white privilege' have rendered their profession irrelevant by substituting inclusivity for quality

December 31: Green Zone reinforced; Kim wants attitude adjustment; Pentagon asking for Black Mirror drone-swarm nightmare

Pentagon sends reinforcements to Iraq after Green Zone siege

North Korea reconsiders self-imposed ban on nuke tests, blaming US gangsterism & drills with the South

**Pentagon wants AI-enabled drone swarms for 'search & rescue' - how long 'til they turn to search & destroy?

January 1: The old Palestinian laborer trick again; Kurz & Greens triumphant; US intel can't predict the nose in front of its face

Israeli settler youths arrested for attacking police disguised as Palestinian laborers

Sebastian Kurz set to return to power as deal with Austria's Greens announced

**US intel agencies predicted the world of 2020 in 2004, then scurried to fulfill their own prophecies. How'd they do?

January 2: Reheated Iraq War leftovers; gone & long since forgotten; so i herd u liek war criminalz; 'civic sparring' joins euphemism pantheon

Esper warns Iran that even a rumor of 'provocations' to come will trigger preemptive strike

'Only Latino candidate' Castro exits still-crowded 2020 Democratic field. "Who?"

Queen's University, Belfast names Hillary Clinton chancellor...alas, she's not moving there

**NBC slammed for 'civic sparring' euphemism, but how else to describe a desperate effort to prop up 'Diversity is our strength' narrative?

January 3: Cremated creatures mourned; don't panic, but we're all gonna die; dude where's my Koran; revenge porn'd's revenge; killer robots just want to help

Close to half a billion animals dead in Australia's bushfires set to get even worse as record number evacuated

The only thing to fear is...everything!!! de Blasio warns New Yorkers all bets are off as city braces for Iranian revenge for Soleimani killing

French prosecutors say no evidence Villejuif stabber who yelled 'Allahu akhbar' was radicalized...after finding his Koran & religious items near scene

GirlsDoPorn operators must pay $12.8 million to women conned into appearing in online porn vids, face federal sex trafficking charges

**Pentagon will unveil killer robots as a way to save American lives during war. Don't fall for it

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It's becoming increasingly difficult to tell where politics ends & religion begins - & where satire ends & social movement begins. But when your cult is based on a doctrine rejected from politics for not meeting even the lowest factual standards, or your social movement is born out of a satire in which you didn't realize you were the joke, it might be time to find something else to do with your life. But hey, this is 'murica, land of opportunity: just don't try to take any, it's all been reserved for people with more money than you.

December 16: Pop goes the hateblimp; the next big thing in Fear

Whoopi Goldberg tells Meghan McCain to shut up, embodying the will of all Americans

Man arrested after 4-hour shootout-standoff with Columbus cops

**"Russian-influenced racist trolls" taking over Instagram as DFRL worries neither epithet terrifies alone

December 17: Don't say the g-word; actors do politics; mad Maxine defends doctrine; Mormons' apocalypse stash exposed

Trump admin won't budge on Armenian genocide terminology despite unified Congress

**Don't encourage celebrities by indulging their political virtue-signaling - unless you want President Cusack

**Greta Thunberg biopic shows the cameras have been rolling from day one of her climate strike

Maxine Waters admits the facts aren't on her side, but clings to Russiagate doctrine anyway

Mormon Church hoarding $100bn against Second Coming, says IRS whistleblower

December 18: Demons 4 Kidz; Manafort spared double jeopardy; Hariri bounces; Pelosi panders with purple-prosed Pledge

Exorcists on the warpath about 'demon summoning for kids' book

NY judge dismisses state charges against Manafort, citing double jeopardy

Hariri backs out of Lebanese PM election as protests threaten to derail talks

Pelosi opens impeachment debate with pandering pantomime of patriotism

3 stabbed, 1 killed at at Beaverton Wells Fargo

December 19: Rowling treads on trans toes; Alexa wants a seat at the Christmas table; Pelosi stalls as impeachment not so peachy

JK Rowling eviscerated by fans after sticking up for woman fired over biological view of sex

**Amazon Alexa can 'change the subject' if talk gets too hot over Christmas dinner - pass the potatoes, CIA

Pelosi's foot-dragging handing impeachment to Senate enrages Republicans eager to spike the case

December 20: Trump typos titillate; taking offense keeps 'muricans feeling virtuous; Trump & Pelosi play nice over SOTU

Trump fumes over 'Christianity Today' op-ed (or 'ET'), triggering 'smocking-hot' social media meltdown

**PC thought police would rather feed the trolls than admit their own racism

Trump & Pelosi make nice over SOTU as supporters cheer for inevitable backstab

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Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the desert...it's Weapons of Mass Destruction Part II: Son of Weapons of Mass Destruction! Brought to you by Cheney Studios, a division of You've Been NeoConned, itself a subsidiary of ZioFascism Inc. Now with more carnage, in case you forgot God Is A Real Estate Agent.

December 9: Epstein didn't kill himself, and Crossfire Hurricane was flagrantly illegal

'Epstien didn't kill himself' performance artist one-ups banana eater at Art Basel Miami

IG report reveals Russiagate probe was fraudulent from the start - and Brennan lied about it


December 10: Religion as politics; we have always been losing the war in Afghanistan; Saudi flyers grounded

**'Caged nativity' is the perfect Christmas display for a politics that tolerates no heresy

**Cheney warns War on Terror must continue as even WaPo admits it's been a losing battle all along

Saudi aviation students grounded after Pensacola shooting


December 11: Your genes are not your own; Black Hebrew Israelites strike again; actor vs anchor in battle of the loathsome, UK edition

GEDMatch bought by forensic DNA company, feeding 60% of white Americans' genes to FBI

Jersey City shooters linked to Black Hebrew Israelites

UK election jitters stoke ongoing feud between Piers Morgan and Hugh Grant


December 12: Jersey City shooting blame game: terrorism? white supremacy? The Jews™?

Jersey City shooting being investigated as act of terrorism against Jews...and cops

Jersey City shooting blamed on white supremacy, even though alleged shooters were black


December 13: Bye-bye tariffs; Kurdistan ain't so Great after all; Bernie endorses & un-endorses Young Turk

US to remove China tariffs 'phase by phase' as China cancels US tax hikes

**Greater Kurdistan? What Greater Kurdistan? Esper dashes Kurds' hopes of state in Syria

Sanders endorses & un-endorses Uygur for Congress in under a day as sexist comments come back to bite him

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The internet is in peril, declares Tim Berners-Lee, the man who created the World Wide Web. Yet he has sold his soul to Google, Facebook, & the Wikimedia Foundation of all people to cook up this supposedly voluntary 'contract' to build a better internet, 'voluntary' in quotes because it quite openly admits it wants those who do not sign to be ostracized. Is it any coincidence that all three of the aforementioned companies have already violated multiple precepts of the Contract for the Web? Well, what's the use of being on the steering committee for such a project if you're not exempted from following any of the rules? 

November 25: Germany highlights Huawei hypocrisy; Trump in the garden of Good & Evil; no future for the internet

Germany reminds Huawei-hating US that NSA spying reveal didn't trigger a boycott of American tech

**Mock "Trump is the Chosen One" all you like, but save some derision for the "Trump is Pure Evil" crowd

Google and Facebook back new "Contract for the Web," take out contract on the web

November 26: Heretic Tucker; Palestine threatens to ditch appeasement; NSO vs Facebook: dueling scumbags; border bombing

Tucker Carlson talks Douma hoax on air & roots for Russia over Ukraine. Burn him at the stake!

Palestine's patience rapidly evaporating after US 'recognized' illegal Israeli West Bank settlements

Israeli spyware company sues Facebook for deplatforming its employees after spying on thousands through Whatsapp

Car bomb near Syrian border pinned on US-backed Kurds

November 27: Boeing's misfortunes continue; political prejudice wildly popular; Trump as "Rocky" triggers Twitter; US' endless wars are shamelessly derivative Hollywood sequels

Boeing covered up extent of damage in failed 777x stress test explosion

Political discrimination remains socially acceptable & leads to massive organizational groupthink

Trump as Rocky Balboa tweet spurs speculation & triggers #Resistance 

**Faux narrative, real deaths: US war stories are second-rate Hollywood sequel farming

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The US has gone full Orwell (again) - settler-colonialism, the most violent occupation of the 21st century, has been given the green light by the Trump administration. It's an empty yet craven gesture, Trump reaching out of the surprisingly persistent quicksand his enemies have somehow crafted out of the meganothingburger of Ukrainegate - but Bibi has 99 problems of his own, & a bitch ain't one. We can celebrate his indictment, but be aware there are many just as bad lined up behind him. This is why Israel will never have a sane leader.

November 18: Trump joins the 'peach party; people of Walmart; Bolivia goes full Condor; fun with violent occupation

Trump hints he'll testify (in writing) in impeachment hearing

Walmart parking lot shooter kills 2, self in apparent domestic dispute

Bolivia takes a leaf from the Condor playbook, threatening MAS politicians & leftist journalists with arrest

Pompeo says screw the Geneva Convention, West Bank settlements are a-OK with Trump

November 19: Sweden bows out of Assange persecution; Epstein didn't kill himself; Big Tech plays innocent

Sweden drops Assange rape investigation, having done its job of securing his imprisonment

Finally, an arrest in the Epstein death! It's...the prison guards who ignored his "suicide"

Louisiana senator asks how is Epstein like Christmas ornaments and drywall?

Big Tech downplays monopoly status in response to House antitrust probe

November 20: Democrats embrace authoritarianism; Sondland's impeachment circus; NYTimes imperils journalists

Democrats unanimously vote to renew PATRIOT Act after shoehorning it into financing bill

Sondland refuses to cough up quid pro quo, but confirms Zelensky "loves Trump's ass"

**NYTimes editor whines Trump is putting his journalists in danger - and cheering on wars around the world isn't?

Sondland shatters Dems' hopes for quid pro quo - but that doesn't stop them from claiming he delivered

November 21: Reds under the bed; Bibi goes byebye; airborne mishap; Fredo calls his mom; angry mob takes Berkeley; journalistic integrity DOA

Russian-speaking journalist cries "bot" on glimpsing "Russian quote mark" in story on Biden's illegitimate kid

Israeli AG indicts Netanyahu on 3 corruption cases at last

Netanyahu lashes out at "attempted coup" run by "foreign interests"

Two airmen die in USAF training mission gone wrong

CNN's Cuomo phones Mom to prove Trump wrong. It backfires

Over 1000 antifa-like protesters swarm Ann Coulter speech at UC Berkeley

**Journalists have lost their moral compass as ethics swapped for speed & ideology 

November 22: Trump hedges Hong Kong bets; big bad Wolfowitz dispenses advice; Bolivia's long tentacle of the law; you got pwned

Trump refuses to trash China trade deal to back Hong Kong rioters despite near-unanimous Congress support

**Iraq war's "godfather" warns Trump spurning Kurds will bite him in the ass, next war

Morales charged with terrorism for allegedly encouraging Bolivian supporters to block roads in protest

You've been very, very pwned: 1.2 billion profiles discovered on unencrypted Google Cloud server

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